I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
