I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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