I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
