You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
