you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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