I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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