You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
