the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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