pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
