im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize