Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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