we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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