Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
