You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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