before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize