Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize