my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
