i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize