I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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