doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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