Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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