I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize