mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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