I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
