On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
