But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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