got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
