it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
