She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
