This is not my ceiling
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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