I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
