we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
