i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
