There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
how drunk are you?
Several
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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