Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
