My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
