is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize