I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
