i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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