whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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