We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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