im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize