He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
