I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
