No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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