I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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