drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
