best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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