my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
