btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
