I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Bang-toberfest begins!!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
