I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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