i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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