Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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