It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
