Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think I just sharted jello shots
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