Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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