yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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