she was so not down for the gang bang
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
