Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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