when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
