Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
a search helicopter?!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
