I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize