Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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