Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
