But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
