the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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